Tao's Room
by FaustoCosgrove
Summary: There's something suspicious in Tao's room, and Takeo and M-21 are investigating. If only they weren't so distractable. NoRomo fic mainly about the trio, plus the children, Frankie and Rai. Oneshot.


Tao's room

Summary:

There's something suspicious in Tao's room, and Takeo and M-21 are investigating. If only they weren't so distractible. NoRomo fic mainly about the trio, with other Frankie household appearances.

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Reading Nobless fanfiction, I always wondered why Tao is presented as the slob. Wouldn't it be funnier if it was Takeo? He'd be like Howl from Howl's Moving Castle. But then I get a great idea and the only way it can work is if our favorite tech head makes a mess. Oh, well.

Set some time after the trio are established household members, but before Regis and Seira.

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Tao's room was a mess. Electrical this and that, computer monitors, a spider's web of cables all over the floor, things that looked like they went to a computer but what were they? Spare parts? External hard drives? An elaborate hoax by Tao to make himself look busier than he really is?

And that was just the tech side of it. His bed was a mountain of clothes, cardboard boxes sticking out from under his bed full of books? Magazines? More computer parts? The chair was pilled up with papers and things. Tao's ability to collect things was astounding. Especially since the trio all received the same salary.

His work desk looked like a Christmas tree, the main monitor adorned with little novelty this and that, and empty snack and drink containers. Unnecessarily shaped post-it notes placed at random. In other words, Tao was a perfect example of a typical college student.

The only space consistently cleared of mess was the space between the main monitor and the keyboard. Which seemed strange, as it would be the most convenient place for Tao to line up his Girl's Generation bobble heads. M-21 and Takeo were suspicious. They discussed their suspicions while Tao was out one day in the living room during that brief window between school letting out and the students arriving.

"Maybe it's the opening to a secret compartment." M-21 theorized.

"Too obvious. If he wanted to hide something, he'd place it in a specific part of the mess. It'd be harder for an intruder to find." Takeo countered.

"Besides, he leaves everything laying around, what would he be hiding? Something that can fit in a bread box..."

"Well, not his dirty magazines, that's for sure."

"You know where he keeps his...?" M-21 was taken aback, "How close _are_ you two?" He'd never had a relationship like that with M-24.

"What are you accusing me of?! They're literally on top of the pile by the foot of his bed. I'm surprised you couldn't _smell_ them or something."

"I try not to smell things in Tao's room. For my own safety and sanity."

"I'm back!" Tao popped in the front door, holding onto a small box of what neither M-21 nor Takeo needed to confirm were more things to add to the mess. "I heard my name. Were you two taking about me?"

"Of course not." M-21 lied.

"We were talking about M-21's heightened senses. Particularly smells."

M-21's expression screamed: Thanks a lot Takeo!

"Are you telling me to take a bath?" Tao raised an eyebrow.

" _You're_ fine." M-21 decided to take control of the conversation away from Takeo. "So long as Takeo doesn't take one and perfume his hair, I'll accept any and all levels of B.O."

"It's not perfume. It's called shampoo, and maybe if you used it instead of bar soap on your head it would have a nicer luster."

"I'd die from the stench."

"I'm sure they make unscented shampoo."

"Alright. I'll write a letter to your shampoo brand and ask them to send us some."

"Better not. I think the hibiscus is part of the conditioning step."

"Can't they sub it out with something that isn't as offensive? Like rotten fish?"

Takeo held his ponytail forward, "Beware the mightly smell of fresh flowers!" M-21 covered his nose and recoiled.

"Hey, hey what about me? What do I smell like?" Tao interrupted.

"Like you usually do?" M-21 not only tried to avoid smelling Tao's room. He also avoided smelling Tao.

"No, no, describe me! I'm better than rotten fish, right? Right?"

Unbeknownst to Takeo and M-21, the comparison of Tao to an actual 5 year old crossed both their minds.

"Kid goo." M-21 answered with a straight face. Takeo erupted in laughter.

"What?"

"You smell like kid goo."

"What's kid goo? Huh? Takeo? You're always hanging around kids. What's kid goo?"

Takeo managed to stop laughing. "Kid goo: a combination of saliva, boogers, and food which normally coats the hands and faces of younger children, and contaminates everything the child touches."

"Hey, I'm not a kid! You don't see me wearing one of the school uniform, do you?"

"Of course not. We work at a high school, not an elementary school."

"But just because I'm not don't have to wear the uniform doesn't mean I don't look good in one."

"No one suggested that." M-21 was in awe about a lot of things about his comrades, but Tao's ability to ignore the situation was a god level skill.

The door opened again, letting Rai and the children inside.

"We're here!" Shinwoo exclaimed.

"Ik-han! Perfect timing!" Tao spun to face the children. "Take your clothes off!"

"Huh?" Ik-han's jaw dropped. As did the girl's. Shinwoo began muttering something about being right all along.

"Did you have to say it like _that_?" Takeo asked. "Even my Korean is good enough to ask clearly."

"Besides, Shinwoo's closer to your size." M-21 offered.

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One cleared up misunderstanding (and one reassured he wasn't short Ik-Han) later, Tao had obtained the school uniform in exchange for the security guard uniform. Shinwoo looked like a b-movie cop, and Tao looked like the lead actor in a highschool drama. Takeo and M-21 managed to worm their way out of the shenanigans, mainly through fear of Frankenstein finding out one of them wore Rai's uniform. Long distracted from their original goal, M-21 and Takeo agree that engaging the target is no longer an option.

During the kid's stay, they took turns cleaning and investigating. After the kids left and the Frankie household retreated to their rooms for the night, the two took turns sitting outside of Tao's room, peering under the door with a small mirror. Takeo suspected that Tao had a camera installed in the hallway and knew they were there. M-21 insisted that the kid goo smell remained the same, so he hadn't noticed or become suspicious of them yet.

A few hours and one retreat from Tao fetching a bag of chips later, Takeo finally noticed movement that wasn't just more of Tao typing away. Waking up M-21 who was dozing on his shoulder, the two of them watched Tao stretch his arms up, push his keyboard forward, and rest his head on his desk. M-21 listened to his breathing even out, the glow of the computer screen still leaving the room and the top of Tao's head well lit.

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Takeo and M-21 faced their defeat. They faced a sleeping Tao, too. Tao really hadn't been up to anything suspicious? He really was just keeping the space clear so he could more conveniently sleep at his desk?

In whispers quieter than the hum of the still on computer, Takeo commented: "That can't be comfortable."

"I see now why he can use his bed as a table", M-21 whispered back just as quiet.

Exchanging a glance, the two were in no way, shape, or form going to let Tao get away with this. The only thing he could do worse than driving them crazy was unintentionally driving them crazy. Takeo expertly avoided the obstacles on the way to Tao's bed, and used the top most blanket to silently roll up the mess like an enchilada. He rolled it off, onto the mess at the foot of Tao's bed. Meanwhile, M-21 carefully picked up Tao and carried him over. Takeo pulled the rest of the bedding back for M-21 to plop Tao down, and then tucked him in.

It wasn't much, but at least they had done something. A confused Tao in the morning would be fun. After admiring their handywork for a moment, the light of the computer dimmed as it set itself on sleep mode. The two quietly crept out, and went to bed themselves.

After their foot steps had stopped, Tao opened his eyes and sat up.

"What was that about?"

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The next morning, instead of finding a confused Tao at the breakfast table, Takeo and M-21 were greeted with nicknames: Mom and Dad. They took full advantage of it.

From behind the morning paper and between sips of coffee, M-21 said, "Tao, after school today, I want you to clean your room."

"Aw, c'mon, Dad."

"You heard your father." Takeo added.

"Mom!"

"It's not just because it's a chore. You've got god knows what growing in there. You could get sick." Takeo gently pleaded.

"I'm building my immune system with those things!"

Putting down the paper, M-21 looked at Tao, "Clean. Your. Room."

Neither Rai not Frankenstein batted an eye at the morning antics. The school day came soon enough, as did Tao accidentally using the nicknames in front of the children. He never used them again, though Takeo would occasionally ask Tao and M-21 to spend some quality father-son time together.

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End file.
